


fever dreams

by gayriot



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Doctor!John, Doctor/Patient, Extremely Underage, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Sadstuck, Sickfic, Timelines, Underage Kissing, italian john too! hoo boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 18:58:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6295945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayriot/pseuds/gayriot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You don't want to die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fever dreams

You're twelve when you get sick. Really sick.

For some reason, none of the doctors can seem to pinpoint exactly what it is you have. You tell them about your symptoms, about your overall mood in general, about what you eat and where you go on a regular basis. They take lots of x-rays, using big doctor-y words that you're sure are made up, they prescribe you with different medications and take lots of blood tests. You pass out every time they take blood from you, the dark liquid filling up the needle stirring something inside your stomach and making your head foggy with fear of...something. You're not sure why, but you think you might be afraid of blood.

Your sisters worry excessively over you, meanwhile all your parents are concerned over is paying the hospital bills that just keep piling up. You spend a lot of time in bed, whether it be a hospital bed or your own bed or own of your sisters' beds. Your legs constantly feel stiff yet shaky at the same time, as if you can't even trust them to support your weight. Walking is an activity that's only done when you're around other people, and even then you're only up and at 'em for about fifteen minutes before you have to rest again. Rose, your younger ("we're only two minutes apart, dumbass.") and very creepy sister, suggests getting you a wheelchair or crutches. Roxy, the eldest sibling, agrees with her. Mom and dad say that you just need sturdier shoes.

With how twitchy your hands have become, you can't even put your shoes on by yourself.

By the time your birthday month is nearing, it's already been four months since you started getting sick. A doctor that you can't even remember has diagnosed you with asthma (although that doesn't really help the overall issue here). Every once in a while, it flares up at random times and Roxy rushes to fill up the Albuterol for you. You requested a breathing mask shaped like a duck, and while the sight of that Monster Machine makes you exhausted, the duck mask tends to lighten the mood somewhat.

Rose reads you one of her creepy stories while you take your treatments. She has to speak loudly over the obnoxious buzz of the machine and it's probably taking a toll on her voice with how often you need to use it, but you appreciate all her efforts in trying to entertain you. Roxy goes along with it, acting out every story with strange hand gestures and the like. It makes you laugh, and then it makes you cough, but that's okay to do with the machine on (the doctor told you so). Once the rattle in your chest has subsided for the most part and all the medicine in your mask has been mostly drained, it gets shut down, cleaned by your sisters, and then slid underneath your bed in a cardboard box. You'd rather not look at the thing. Your siblings humor you as best they can.

God, you love them.

Being pretty much sheltered from almost every person you could possibly interact with--save for the ones with social positions the same or higher than your family's--and homeschooled since, well, birth means that you don't have many friends or people to talk to. You're grateful for your siblings and the girl, Jane, that Roxy sometimes sneaks into the house. Jane brings you baked goods of all types, despite what every doctor has said pertaining to watching your diet. She's pretty much the only friend you have that isn't blood related. 

On December 1st, you start running a fever in the middle of the night.

Your parents are nowhere to be found and Roxy is working a late shift at the diner, so it's up to Rose to take care of you. She brings you a bag of Goldfish crackers (she's not confident that you could hold down much else) and some medicine, then sits down next to you in the bed and reads one of her gross wizard porn stories in a soft, gentle voice. You fall asleep with the head of a Goldfish stuck to your lips while she's in the middle of explaining how Draco takes it up the ass like a good boy. 

Your dream that night is much different than any you've ever experienced. Mostly because you typically don't have dreams at all. Like, ever. 

You're walking down the streets of a city that you assume to be New York, but you can't be sure considering there are no signs stating the name of this city or annoyingly touristy shirts that say "I <3 NY." Next to you is a boy with thick, curly black hair that looks soft to the touch. He has olive skin and cerulean eyes. His hands are moving rapidly through the air, and you realize he's speaking to you.

"What do you think?" he asks. He has an Italian accent and slurs the words "do" and "you" together.

"Huh?" you mutter.

He frowns at you, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"I asked you what you think about coming to Greece to see my cousin," he answers. "I'm going during the next month for a week."

You open your mouth and respond immediately, "Yeah, haven't seen Jade in while." Looking down at the ground, you think to yourself about how much deeper your voice sounds than it should be. How old are you exactly?

"Are you...alright?" a questioning voice asks.

"Yeah man, just feelin' kinda weird," you reply.

Suddenly, he stops walking, and you copy him. He looks up at the Starbucks in front of the both of you, then back at your face.

He gives you a crooked smile and says, "Well, I'll call you later during my break, Dave! Thanks for walking with me. See ya!"

Wrapping his arm around your shoulders, he pulls you in for a tight, one-armed hug. You bring your hand up to ruffle his hair, happily surprised ti find that it is as soft as you thought. Though, for some reason, it seems familiar, like you've touched this person before. 

"Bye, John," you say quietly.

When you pull away, he's staring at you with a worried expression breaking his smile. But then he simply fixes it and waves at you, and walks into the establishment.

You're walking away from it with your back turned when you hear an explosion. 

You wake up in a cold sweat, panting and your fingers trembling by your sides. Fever dream.

Rose has fallen asleep at the foot of your bed with her laptop underneath her head. You imagine that can't be very comfortable, even with the knitted cover over it, and you move it to the floor.

The next day, you're in the hospital with a temperature of 102 and an asthma attack that nothing, not even 10 Monster Breathing Machines and a handful of duck masks, will ease. 

The hallway you're in seems fairly busy; the sound of so many wheeled carts rolling and metal clanking on metal makes you cringe. Or, at least it would, if your body didn't ache so much. Your room is completely void of people except for yourself, and you'll admit that you're kind of...sad to see that not even your sisters are there for you. 

After twenty minutes of staring at the dirty mint green curtain blocking off the doorway, you finally hear footsteps. Praying for it to be Roxy or Rose, you watch the mystery person push the curtain away.

It's only a doctor. A doctor that looks like the guy from your fever dream.

He's definitely got at most ten years of age on the guy, but he has the same complexion, the same eyes, even the same curly hair, despite it being cut shorter than before. He's wheeling a cart in with a laptop on top of it, typing away as he walks in. When he sees you, though, he stops immediately and smiles at you.

"Nice to see that you're awake Dave," he chirps. Briefly, you wonder how the hell this dude knows your name, until you remember that he's your DOCTOR; he has to know your name. "When you arrived, you were very dizzy, so you probably don't remember my name. Dr. Crocker, at your service. How are you feeling?"

Rubbing your eyes, you groan lightly and sit up. You stare at him, wondering why he's so damn familiar to you. Why do you know him, why is there a voice nagging you at the back of your mind that's telling you to just remember him, why are you meeting like this.

You mutter the first thing comes to mind.

He stares incredulously at you, blinking his blue eyes like he can't even trust his own vision. "I...I'm sorry?"

"John," you repeat, louder this time.

He visibly swallows and chuckles nervously. He walks to the bed, checking you heart beat and IV.

"Your family stepped out for a moment, but they'll be returning soon. They went down to the cafeteria."

"When did they leave?" you ask.

"...About a minute or two before you awoke, I believe."

Thinking how much time you have, you wonder if you're crazy for wanting to do this. Maybe you can convince yourself that this is another fever dream. Make yourself think that no one will ever find out. Convince yourself that you're probably going to die anyway, so what does it matter?

You think of how wrong it is. Wrong and illegal and utterly stupid and it could get him fired for just even contemplating the thought. You think that maybe you're thinking a bit too much.

All morals and laws pushed aside, you finally do it; you pull him by the stethoscope, close enough to you that you can feel it when his breath hitches, and you kiss the doctor.

Instead of backing away like you expect him to, his hands find a home in yours and he sighs through his nose. 

That night, you flatline at about three minutes before December 3rd. 

But you don't want to die.

**Author's Note:**

> i was wondering if anyone has any specific requests for a fic?? it doesnt even have to be johndave or even in this fandom (although i do ask that if i cant write that fandom please don't be too rough on me) but i must also ask you to please be lenient on ships with karkat or trolls in general (i will however probably attempt johnkat). im in the mood to gift some works for people so if you have any requests dont be scared to drop them in the comments <3


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